It is important that parents and carers maintain consistent behavioural boundaries that they had for several reasons:
- Illness should not excuse behaviour that is normally unacceptable
- Consistent and predictable responses from adults can provide safety and reassurance
- Consistency and predictability can support a smoother post-illness adjustment.
Toddlers and pre-school children
Young children can exhibit temporary developmental regression when they become unwell, such as returning to nappies or becoming more clingy. Parents and carers can benefit from reassurance that this is normal and that development typically resumes as health improves.
Babies and younger children gain comfort from having their main carer close by and, as they begin to feel better and become more familiar with staff, they will gain more confidence Parents and carers should be encouraged to support age-appropriate independence and physical activity such as getting dressed and moving during the day. This will help to maintain boundaries, promote development, and reduce muscle loss.
Primary school-aged children
Children who have previously been independent, may regress and become more reliant on their parents and carers again. While this regression is expected, it is usually temporary. Increased exposure to adults, including those who may be required to perform painful procedures, can make children more wary and require reassurance. Encouraging participation in daily activities and time out of bed can support both physical and emotional recovery.
While keeping children active during treatment can help reduce regression, community practitioners should also be mindful that children with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia (ALL) are particularly vulnerable to early treatment-related leg weakness due to medication effects, fatigue, and reduced mobility. Similarly other cancer types, such as bone and brain cancers may inhibit physical activity and challenge the goal of preventing regression. Early encouragement of gentle exercise and weight-bearing whenever possible can maintain strength, mood and normal development.
Young people
Adolescents can shift from independence to reliance on parents and carers for both physical and emotional support, including acting as their ‘voice’ as they adjust to their diagnosis and treatment. Acknowledging this regression can reduce parental anxiety, while encouragement to allow their child some independence and time alone can be helpful. At the same time, over-protection may hinder future re-adjustment and independence. Adolescents in particular may resent the enforced dependence that comes with their healthcare needs.
Young people should also be encouraged to get up, get dressed and spend time out of bed. Age specific units often provide social spaces that support normality and independence. Adolescents should be encouraged to be involved in communication about their care, particularly as they approach or pass the age 16.
Maintaining physical activity, staying connected with peers, and keeping some engagement with schoolwork can support wellbeing. Concerns about appearance are common and should be sensitivity acknowledged. Gradual return to school such as short visits or phased attendance may help to ease any anxieties.
Page last updated February 2026